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Win or Lose
03 Mar 2009 10:49PM
Recently I was talking to a friend who recently competed in an interclub. When I asked how she did she explained that she went the distance but wasn't happy with her performance. As it was an interclub there wasn't a definite winner. Having a record of 1-1 I explained that even after my win I found a lot of faults with my performance. The fact that she wanted to work on her game and continue to compete is what made her a fighter. And a good one at that. Win or lose you should always take something away from your match. You can always find some way to improve your game, unless maybe if you're Ken Shamrock.
In some ways losing, though disappointing, was in some ways a relief. I realised that aside from my record, nothing much changed; I still was good in some areas and need to work on others, no one shunned me, small children weren't lining up to cain my ass and take my lunch money. In some ways I feel a bit liberated and can now focus on enjoying myself in training instead of getting caught up in the concept of win or lose. Too much emphasis is often put on the hollow concept of winning which can in turn create pressure for yourself or even cause dull fights. There is nothing more boring than watching a fight where someone is being extra cautious to secure a win.
Some of the best fights I've seen are when the victor isn't easily defined as win or lose such as the Paul Taylor v Chris Lytle bout. The fight was fast paced, exciting and it was impossible to really appoint a winner or loser (though I gave it to Taylor). Neither fighter should have left that octagon disappointed with their performance as it was an exciting fight. And there's nothing worse than watching a fight where someone's losing heart and gives up on themselves. When Horn fought Palares it was clear that Palares was winning but Horn stuck in there and carried on regardless which you had to respect and admire. I also had admire Palares for sobbing openly on his entrance and then proceeding to suplex Horn as if he were two weight classes lighter(he is my new hero).
Last year I competed in a grappling tournament and despite losing (I will never get my head round the points system) I was happy with my performance. It was harder explaining that to friends that don't train or compete but fuck it, I also don't think they comprehend how hard it is training, stepping up and facing an opponent either. My favourite bit of advice about this was from Marloes Coenen (I actually saved the email and return to it often for meditation)
"Good luck with your fight, don't panic too much. As I always think it's just a moment in time. You can prepare for months and work really hard, when you have a off day..it's an off day. I have fight a lot of fights when I was really sick and know because of that, that it is a mental game. So if you say to yourself "f*ck it, I'm here anyway so I can better do my best" you will win no mater what of kind of preparation you had. Of course you have to train, but for 80% it's just in your mind."
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