Tutting and sniggering greeted my session at the local Fitness First yesterday. I have a badly underused membership there and went for the first time in months on Saturday morning. The reason for not going has basically been that given the chance I’d rather train outside (I spend a lot of time in the gym/sportshall in my job).
Anyway, I digress. I went and did a simple, light session involving some skipping and light weights then went in the studio to have a little play on the punchbag. A class had just finished and there was a lad in there using one bag and a woman who’d just been taking a class talking to him. As I put my gloves on and stretched off I could hear their conversation and it became apparent that he was a boxer and she was a ‘kickboxer’. They were comparing football to combat sports and were producing such gems as “football teaches you about sport, but (kick)boxing teaches you about life” and philosophising about the ways in which their sport stood on higher moral ground. The implication was that their sport towered over others in developing your character ‘for life’, but failed to explain why. Now I’m very open to these types of arguments and opinions, but to accept and appreciate the point there needs to be some sort of justification.
I rolled my eyes inwardly and started using the bag. I was playing with some new/unfamiliar combinations and was tip tapping the bag concentrating on my footwork and movement. Basically I was running the combos through in slow motion to get comfortable with the movements. As I was doing this the ‘boxing moralists’ came and sat nearby and continued their conversation. I’ve always hated the way people scrutinize whatever you do in a gym, but never pay much attention as it’ll always happen in public gyms. People always think they know better, I just do what I want to, aware that a lot of the things I do may look strange to the uninitiated. I’m used to the odd raised eyebrow.

But this pair really got on my tits.

I dabbed and ducked, bobbed and weaved, shot and elbowed and kicked away and gradually realised that they were watching and occasionally whispering to each other. I even noticed them look, snigger and look away again. I could well have had a piece of toilet paper hanging out of my shorts or a ‘kick me’ sign on my back, but I suspect they were subjecting my techniques to ridicule with their own experience in mind. The overhand right and shoot seemed to really bother them (the monkey punch really upset them – thank you Mr Swambo!). It’s possible I just looked stupid however. The tutting and head shaking nearly caused a major incident of stellar proportions, I very nearly turned on them. You (may) be pleased to hear though that I decided I would take the moral high ground and ignore them. I knew what I was doing and didn’t need their approval to continue.

The real irony of this situation lay in their initial moralising. They insinuated that their sport taught them not only how to compete but also how to live life as a better person. Yet minutes later they were behaving like playground bullies making fun of the poor kid’s cheap trainers. They didn’t understand what I was doing and rather than taking the lessons their sport had taught them about life and applying these, they chose ridicule and criticism. They didn’t ask why or what I was doing. They didn’t suggest any improvements or try to help, they were not very helpful or pleasant full stop. Their attitude and demeanour sucked. If they represent combat sports to the average Joe what hope have we ever got competing against football?! I don’t believe that any one sport is ‘better’ than another, its all about choice. I’m trying to be careful here that I don’t do what they did and take the moral high ground.

That plus the fact that all morals nearly went out of the window as I was a hair’s breadth away from taking one of them down and smashing them while shouting “How much use is your boxing now eh?!?!?!” But what would that have proved eh?..

*Disclaimer. The final sentence was intended to be mildly humorous and vaguely thought provoking. David Bownds has no intention of assaulting members of the public or employees at any Fitness First gym anywhere in the country.*