I've been having a great time of late. Training has been bad ass, placed on offer on a flat, seen Metallica and celebrated Guys 40th Birthday. Here is some things that occurred during this time ill let you guess at what event each took place.

• Lovey destroyed a mosh pit full of teenagers like Godzilla
• Jason and Garry “firestarter” Christie got barred for life from the strip joint mentioned in a previous post.
• Paddy O’Brien (i hate how he’s significantly more Irish than me) got twisted drunk and sang the “gay bar” song at Karaoke. Only to forget all but two of the words  (see the title) and make animal noises throughout the rest of the track.  The sexy dance interlude  with bam bam was amazing though.
• I used a devastating spider guard sweep to drop brick on his head and compact his spine a few inches in a sumo suit battle. He countered with a dropkick and was declared the overall winner.
• I got caught saying “this flat is fucking shite and looks like a tramps arsehole has been living here” by the owner.

1. As I sit here my legs feel like they have been run over by a bus and my arse is so taut (like a tiger) i could use it as a snare drum. Here is why

Death sprints

Apologies for the stalker breathing and the use of the word “rapey”.

Bottom of the hill

I think its important to have a few aspects of training that you literally dread. The act of overcoming something physically demanding is great for a fighter and breeds mental toughness. In sparring if your the best guy (I really don’t have this problem) you can slack off and coast. Unfortunately theres no hiding behind a superior skill set here its simply a matter of pointing your balls (or ovaries sorry Jo) up a hill and going as fast as you possibly can.

I woke this morning and spent about 20minutes thinking up excuses for why i didn’t need to do it, “I trained six hours yesterday feck that hill”,”my legs are jacked form weights”, “I am already fit, I dont want to its too fucking hard” and the best one “i think I have sand in my vagina”.

Did it anyway and feel like a king now…… A really sore, immobile king that cant stand but a king none the less.

Outstanding achievement award

2. John West no drain tuna is my new favourite thing.

Its a handy 36.7g of protein and its dolphin friendly if that makes you happy. Personally I feel that meat tastes better when you know a large range of animals have suffered but that’s just me….. goes out to make sure PETA haven’t kicked in my door.

3. I made a new foam roller out of a drain pipe i had lying around the gym. I thought i was being resourceful everyone else things im being a c-unit.

4. Ok my secrets out. Im pretty much immune to the wily charms of the opposite sex. I dont read nuts magazine and use words such as phwoar. Nor would i follow a girl in the street just to see where she lives, then set up camp in some nearby bushes with duct tape and cable ties. I know i am losing man points but i cant seem to care. I have been out of the game for 10 years with the one-gina condition and perving requires way too much effort.

So if anyone can recommend some decent blog birds for me to litter round this page ill appreciate it.  In the mean time ill play it safe with a picture of Jessica Alba’s arse.